This post is by associate Triage Practitioner, and guest blogger, Matthew Savage
What makes a good counsellor?
Thinking about seeking counselling can be a daunting thought. Many people are unsure what to expect, with worries ranging from “what will I be asked?” to “what if I have nothing to talk about?” and “what if I don’t like my counsellor?” Whilst worry is always to be expected, understanding a little more about the role of a counselor and the core skills a good counsellor should possess might be helpful in alleviating some of these worries and fears.
What is the role of a counsellor?
It is understood that it is a basic human desire to understand and to be understood (Maslow, 1943). A counsellor’s role first and foremost is to listen to their client, to not make assumptions and to provide a safe environment for a client to talk about their emotional difficulties or mental health problems. Counsellors provide services for clients who may be suffering from depression, anxiety, loss through bereavement, stress, relationship problems and many other issues which cause them difficulty in their lives. A good counsellor can help clients come to terms with their problems and, in many cases, overcome them, by providing a safe space for someone to talk, to think and to work through distress. Building a rapport with your counsellor is vital to the therapeutic alliance and can be instrumental in achieving your goals for therapy.
What skills should a good counsellor possess?
Whilst it may seem very easy to just “sit and listen” a good counsellor must possess many core skills that will help in building a strong therapeutic relationship and to ensure clients are happy in their company. It is important for a counsellor to use their skills to engage the client in the work that is taking place, to hear a clients’ story without judgement and to help and empower the client to ensure solutions can be found for issues in a clients’ life. Working on this therapeutic relationship first and foremost is extremely important but other key skills are also vital. These skills include:
Empathy – A good counsellor should be empathetic to the needs of the client. Empathy can be defined as the ability to reflect the feelings of another, and a counsellor must listen to the words spoken by their client, the meaning behind them and consider the feelings these words and body language might convey within a session. Counsellors must try their best to “see the world through the client’s eyes”, “temporarily live the other person’s life” and communicate this sense of the person’s life through checking the accuracy of interpretations regularly with the client (Rogers, 1978). Empathy is understanding another person’s experience without judgement and can be shown by counsellors by keen listening and reflecting feelings of a client (statements which are made in fresh words to express the feelings and essential attitudes of a client). These skills help to develop rapport, can help guide clients to attend to the feelings they are experiencing and can increase a sense of being heard.
Interpersonal skills – These skills are simply the ability to communicate well and are skills that are vital across all walks of life. Carl Rogers, an American psychologist, and master of the art of counselling, stated that acceptance of a client “as they are” is vitally important to success in counselling services. Being genuine and regarding the client positively, no matter what they say, or reveal is very important to ensure the client is at the center of therapy. This is an approach known as client-centered and is important during counselling sessions to ensure clients and their words are always the core focus. Skills such as normalizing (the reassurance of clients that what they are feeling is common considering their situation), active listening (letting a client know you are attending to their words without distraction), mediation, collaboration and conflict resolution are important in achieving this aim. This includes all aspects of communication from words to non-verbal communication (body language) and paralanguage (such as facial expressions, voice pitch, tone and pace). A counsellor can use these skills to help grow a relationship and build the trust a client needs to share and collaborate with a therapist.
Unconditional positive regard – A counsellor can express this by showing acceptance of what the client is saying, without judgement and showing warmth and respect can make the client feel like the information they are sharing is valuable. Counsellors can encourage communication by the use of open questions such as “I wonder if you can tell me what brings you here today…”. These are questions which motivate a client to speak for extended periods, and to elaborate on what they are saying. This allows for greater understanding to be achieved by the counsellor. Further skillful listening also allows for the counsellor to make the client feel heard and understood, using skills such as attending (staying with the client and what they are saying), paraphrasing (communicating an accurate understanding to the client by restating the clients’ words to clarify meaning) and validation. Validation is acknowledging and accepting a person’s feelings, thoughts, behaviors and internal experiences as valid and understandable, validating the emotion that is being felt (Linehan, 1993). This sense of feeling validated is extremely important.
Genuineness – Finally, a counsellor should strive to be honest in their responses, authentic and consistent in how they approach the client and their problems (Dryden, 2006). Showing genuineness can be more difficult than it first appears. It involves a good level of self-awareness from a counsellor and an ability to communicate their own feelings. It is a true embracing of collaboration in counselling and can help to reduce the power imbalances that can occur in the therapeutic process. It shows strength in the counsellor’s ability that they are comfortable with their own values and that they feel able to allow the client to take an equal role in the therapeutic process. Congruence of character is important to help a client feel safe and to know that they can anticipate a consistent reaction from the therapist. A counsellor that is not consistent means psychological safety is hard to achieve for a client who will not feel comfortable to fully sharing their problems.
Conclusion
These are just a few of the skills that a good counsellor should possess, ensuring clients receive a treatment experience that is positive, helpful and supportive. Counsellors can use these skills to support people suffering from a variety of emotional and psychological difficulties to help bring about effective change, come to terms with problems and boost wellbeing. These counselling skills are equally important during Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) also and should be utilized by a professional CBT therapist. Sparta Health monitor the skills of all counsellors and CBT therapist who work with the service so they can ensure all clients receive as positive an experience as possible. If you are experiencing emotional or psychological difficulties, or would like to refer a staff member to get prompt support please get in touch on 0345 872 2161 or email us on healthenquiries@sparta-group.co.uk.
About Matt Savage
Matthew Savage is an associate triage practitioner and neurological personal trainer. He has two masters degrees, one in psychology, another in clinical neuroscience at the distinction level and is also a Level 3 Personal trainer. Matthew combines his knowledge and interest in neuroscience, cognitive and physical rehabilitation and general wellbeing to provide positive physical and mental support to his clients.
References
Dryden, W., 2008. Key Issues for Counselling in Action. Second Edition. SAGE Publications Ltd.
Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. Guilford Press.
Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370–396.
Rogers, C. R. (1977). Carl Rogers on personal power. Delacorte.